If you and your partner are facing infertility, know this first: you are not alone—and this experience does not define you.
Trying to conceive can be an emotional rollercoaster. The hope, disappointment, and waiting can take a toll on your body, your heart, and your relationship. At WFMC Health, we know how deeply personal and painful infertility can be. That’s why it’s so important to walk through this experience together, hand in hand.
You’re Both Going Through This
Infertility affects both partners, even if one of you is undergoing more of the physical treatments or testing. You might find that you express your emotions in different ways, and that’s okay.
One of you might want to talk every day, while the other prefers space to process internally. One might feel hopeful, while the other feels frustrated or numb. These responses are all valid.
The key is to meet each other with patience. Try not to judge or compare feelings. Just keep reminding each other that you’re in this together.
Talk Honestly and Often
When you’re dealing with infertility, communication isn’t always easy. You might be afraid of saying the wrong thing, or you might not have the words at all. But talking—really talking—is one of the most powerful tools you have as a couple.
Here are a few ways to keep that connection strong:
- Set aside quiet time to check in emotionally, without distractions.
- Use gentle, honest language, like “I’m feeling overwhelmed today” or “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”
- Listen without fixing. Sometimes just holding space for each other is enough.
And if words fail you, that’s okay too. A hug, a hand squeeze, or even sitting together in silence after a difficult day can speak volumes.
Make Decisions as a Team
Infertility can come with a long list of decisions, including tests, treatments, and next steps. These choices are often overwhelming, especially when emotions are high. Take your time, talk through each option, and remember that you’re on the same team.
Give each other room to feel uncertain or change your mind. Try to make decisions when you’re both feeling calm and heard. If it starts to feel too heavy to carry alone, that’s a sign it’s time to reach out for support.
Take Breaks from the Pressure
It’s easy to let infertility take over your calendar and your conversations. But you are more than this journey, and so is your relationship.
Make time for things that bring you joy together:
- A walk outdoors
- A weekend getaway
- A hobby or project that isn’t baby-related
- A night where you agree not to talk about fertility at all
These moments won’t solve everything, but they can help you reconnect, recharge, and remind each other why you’re fighting for this together.
Know When to Ask for Help
Sometimes, even the strongest couples need extra support. Navigating infertility is often a deeply emotional experience, and asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of.
Talking to a counselor or therapist can be a huge relief, especially if communication is strained or if the grief feels too heavy. Support groups, online communities, and/or faith leaders can also offer comfort and connection.
Working through infertility can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. You and your partner are strong, loved, and walking this path together.
This article is meant for informational purposes only. If you have questions or would like further information, make an appointment with your primary care provider.
